our birthstory...

So  I’ve been asked to write my birth story.

It might be a little graphic so here is a warning to sensitive readers…

First I need to give you a little bit of background info.

Fish’s biodad and I didn’t plan on kids, well I know that he was desperate for one but I wanted to go off and work on the oil rigs. So when that little line turned pink I cried. Not tears of happiness. I was devastated. And then the thought of telling my parents crossed my mind and I cried some more.

And before you ask: yes I thought about abortion, for about a split second. I don’t believe in murder.

I waited until I was 3 months along until I told my mom. I couldn’t even look at her. I handed her our 12 week scans and just sat there, tears in my eyes. Her response: “well, nothing we can do about it now”.

(my mother doesn’t believe in abortion either and that’s something my sister found out VERY quickly as her response was: “just get rid of it”)

Once the initial shock wore off I admit I got a little excited, the whole idea of settling down with the one I loved (even though it was so sudden) was a nice thought. Well in my head things were perfect, in reality not so much…

During my pregnancy we moved house 3 times, I worked 4 jobs, sometimes only finishing at 10pm as my “love” couldn’t hold down a job and the one he eventually did was a joke that didn’t even cover rent.

So needless to say the day fish was born I was actually at work. No I didn’t have him at work so don’t have a hernia.

The birthday:

Saturday the 1^st of August we were celebrating Imbolc with friends and I started shaking, with slight backache. A friend started laughing at me as those were her labour signs. I wasn’t in severe pain so ignored it as BH…

I was almost 34 weeks and has started going in every 2 weeks as instructed though with finances being tight I’d pushed to 3 weeks. That morning I was going to phone and cancel our appointment but then remembered that I needed to get my UIF papers sorted and signed so I could get that out of the way so didn’t.

I left work and zooted off to town, parked the car down at the golden acre, walked across the road to fetch biodad at the old mutual building and then we walked up to Christian Barnard (netcare) Hospital. For those of you that don’t know Cape Town at all, it’s about a 15 minute incline walk.

Once at our appointment I had the lovely task of peeing in a cup. Something that get’s more and more challenging the further along you are. Easier in the sense that you no longer need to drink half a gallon of water BUT you try pee in a teeny cup with a watermelon sized belly…

Dr Isaacs noted that my blood pressure was far too high but when I mentioned that I’d walked to the hospital she dismissed it. Check up went well and my little fishy was growing nicely, still a little small and certainly not old enough to be born sans complication but going strong and we couldn’t see anything to worry about (take note here as this will explain why I don’t trust these things anymore).

Checking my BP again it was still far too high and I was questioned. When did my feet start swelling, was I in pain etc etc… well as it turns out there were 3 proteins in my urine i.e. my high blood pressure was affecting my kidneys already.

Was forced to be booked into the labour ward and monitored (can you imagine my happiness?!) my blood pressure wasn’t going down, tell me if yours would if you had nurses poking and prodding you constantly., so I was forced to get steroid shots 3 times a day for the next 3 days so as to boost little fish’s lung development enough for an early birth. Now let me tell you something. If you want to torture your enemy… give them a steroid shot! It ws so painful that my BP spiked to the an alarming 245/175 (no I still do not know how I did not go into seizures, the Dr’s couldn’t explain it)

That’s when Salma walked in… “phone someone, you are going into theatre NOW, it’s life over life”…

Needles to say I had one sms left and a dying battery… I messaged biodads work buddy as he was more reliable with his phone and thankfully he made it. Despite all the fighting and the issues we had I was really glad he was there.

I watched my entire caesarian section.

I demanded it.

And I’m glad I did. Even though I have a stunning and VERY graphic video of it…

Fish was born the 6^th of August 2009 at 34 weeks. 14:04pm and weighing in at a small but healthy 2.7kg’s and 53cm (yes he’s one tall little man).

His scream proved that his lungs, despite the lack of gestation and the steroids not having enough time to take effect, were developed and healthy. The only issue was his circulation which had him in NICU over night.

I was able to hold him for 2 minutes before I had a reaction to the anesthesia and started barfing (REALLY hard to do when you’re laying down and you can’t move btw) which spiked said blood pressure AGAIN and landed me on critical watch in the ICU.

The sisters brought fish into the ICU to feed (yes against ICU rules) but I was still lame and fish refused to latch so I had to sign forms to let them give him formula.

Well… enough moaning and bitching and I was allowed to be moved to the maternity ward.

Biodad had somehow bribed his way into spending the first night next to the incubator and with my family visiting the next day it was only late that afternoon that I could actually hold my son properly for the first time.

I was discharged on day 3 without any pain medication and was dragged straight to the waterfront so that biodad could show off his son to everyone he knew… needless to say his sensitivity did NOT improve from there…

I suffered from severe post natal depression and was told constantly it’s all in my head… but that is a post for another day.