there are things and others...

i've been having a really bad month.
a terribly bad one...
i lost all confidence, i have had one fat day after the next and emotionally i'm just stuffed.

yes i'm allowed bad days
this is what people tell me.

but in my head.
to me.
i am not allowed.

but then a friend said something to me yesterday: he said, look around you.
ACTUALLY look. then weigh up what you have compared to half of your friends and others.

so this is me weighing up what i have.

i am constantly broke.
BUT i have a house to live in, food in my fridge and bills get paid, even though come month end my account in literally down to double digits.

i have no grass in my garden
BUT i have a garden big enough for my dog, cat and son to play around in the mud

my car hardly every works
BUT i have a car and sometimes it actually does work

my jobs (yes plural) pay me the bare minimum
BUT i have work and i'm good at what i do

i'm a single parent
BUT as much as i hate being single i am a better parent to my son than his father

i look at my life, i have a house, debt, bill, dependants... and i'm managing it. maybe poorly but i am.
and the thing that takes the cake: i'm 22 years old.
not kidding you. i was born april 28th 1988.
and then it hits me. i'm pretty fucking awesome.
how many other people have lived the life i have, can manage the life i have.
not many... certainly not half the 22 year olds i know.

so yes. i am broke as fuck, i complain often...

BUT i am awesome and i deserve to be treated as such